The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
