i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
