Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize