I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
A bitchslap is in order.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
