I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize