There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize