well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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