I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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