it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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