I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
