I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
