when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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