We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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