No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
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she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
whose parrot is this?
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i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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