Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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