You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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