So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
