I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize