Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
