Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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