He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
