When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
No subtext here. People are naked.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
