Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
