you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
