I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
