can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
