I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
