Betty ford says i'm here all night
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
