I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
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