I wanna bring you to show and tell
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize