It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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