We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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