I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize