and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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