i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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