Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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