just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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