so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize