And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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