am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I look better un-naked...
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
