Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
