She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
