Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
