you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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