the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Bring me that man meat
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize