I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
