I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
