Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
