i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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