so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
