Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
