I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
