am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
