just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
