I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
