Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
