Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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