Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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