Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
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