All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
