Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
