fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
