Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
