He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
