Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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